Monday, March 2, 2015

Just Different

When girl grows up in community choked with Mormons, and when that girl happens to be a member of said affiliation, she comes to accept certain cultural beliefs as definite truths:
1.      Caffeinated drinks are equal to alcohol.
2.      If you can’t cook your family will suffer all the days of your life.
3.      Working outside the home is distasteful for a woman, at times is a necessary evil, but you’re creating a broken home if you actually enjoy it.
4.      Listening to rap music is like listening to Satan hum in your ear.
5.      Brigham Young University is the only acceptable institution of higher education.
6.      Women only serve a mission if you can’t get married and have nothing else going on.
7.      You will grow up to be married in the temple sometime between the age of 19 and 21.
a.       The man you marry MUST be Mormon- MUST be a return missionary- MUST be able to support 25 children… at least.
I would agree that caffeinated beverages are not healthy, cooking is a useful hobby, I loved having a stay at home as a kid and would hope to be able to do that for my children, I prefer mellow tunes, BYU (and its sister schools) are cheaper for Mormons, you probably shouldn't apply to serve a mission if you've got something else going on (like being on parole), and the mission is a good experience that will help anyone with future life problems. BUT if a person veers from this path it doesn't mean they took the elevator to hell.
I can’t say that I actually know many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that hold these ideas to be self evident truths, but I do think that it’s spinning in the back of many members minds.
Don’t feel bad if you can’t hammer out all your biases in one stroke!
Once upon a time the prophet Peter struggled with this problem. In Acts 10 he refused food that God set before him in a vision three times because he said that they were “unclean”. How Did God respond? He said “What God has cleansed, that call not thou unclean” (verse 15).
Even Joseph Smith “marveled greatly’ (Joseph Smith History 1:44) when he received a vision that overthrew all the cultural ideas of ‘truth’ that he had been taught.
Only our Heavenly Father decides who is ready to progress in His gospel and He does not base it off of who can make the best cheerio-spinach casserole. We do that. And we prevent others from coming to the church and progress by imposing these cultural beliefs on them.
So how do we stop ourselves? How can we be true to ourselves but accepting of the other vessels around us that God has called clean?

I don’t know, ask Him.

9 comments:

  1. Love this! And so true. I hate to bring up proof of all these sterotypes, but I see them all around me. Mom's feeling like they have to "do it all" because it feels like every other mom is. We just have to focus on ourselves, who Heavenly Father wants us to be and try our best to align with that. Why worry about others, when there is plenty to focus on about ourselves.

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    1. Katie! I love you and you are so amazing. It's true that we don't just set up other to ridiculous standards, but more importantly ourselves! We cut ourselves down too much. God wants us to be better but He sees our potential & progress and feels pleased.Thanks Katie!

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  2. Love this! And so true. I hate to bring up proof of all these sterotypes, but I see them all around me. Mom's feeling like they have to "do it all" because it feels like every other mom is. We just have to focus on ourselves, who Heavenly Father wants us to be and try our best to align with that. Why worry about others, when there is plenty to focus on about ourselves.

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  3. It's true. Sometimes we get so caught up in little things that while good are not necessary that we miss out on the really important things, like helping one another, or being kind, especially to those who need it,

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    1. Yep, I can't say that's I am completely innocent of this either- which is why I made the post! I get caught up in worrying about the little things that don't matter and I loose sight of the big picture.

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  4. Perception is Reality. What I mean by that is these "mom's" that are feeling like they have to "do it all" I would say come in many cultures other than just the LDS. Different coping mechanisms are available and used by women. The Gospel teaches all of us, not just women, to find joy in serving others. When trouble or persecution comes because of the Gospel, some quickly fall away. Mark 4:14-20. The four soils represent four different ways people respond to God's message. Usually we think that Jesus was talking about four different kinds of people. But he may also have been talking about different times or phases in a persons life, or how we willingly receive God's message in some areas of our lives but resist it in others. We must strive to be like good soil in every area of out lives, at all times. Despite many cultural barriers, God's message remains the same for all his children. Mark 4:24 "And he said unto them, Take heed what ye hear: with what measure ye mete(use) it shall be measured to you: and unto you that hear shall more be given. Moms sometimes measure their progress in the gospel as how many children they have, how good of a cook they are, or if they served a mission. Need we remind them that this is not the measure of a testimony.

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    1. I agree- what we need to do is introspectively look to see if we are really coming to closer to Christ and helping those around us to do so- it's not so much about outward token acts. And it's not usually our place to decide whether not someone else is doing their job to come closer to Him.

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