Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The Online dating series: To Plan Z and Beyond

And I'm back!

The desire to reintroduce the world to my 'inspiring' writing was recently reawakened. And by recently, I mean about two months ago- which is recent right?

I would have begun jotting things down two months ago, but I couldn't think of a blasted thing I actually wanted to share. Then it happened today as I was scrubbing dishes- there is one subject I have become very familiar with: Online dating. 

One might even say I've become 'expert', but that one person doesn't know what they're talking about, because if I was expert I would be blogging about engagement rings and fancy pillow mints. Gushing about my happily ever after. 

That is not a subject that will be broached for sometime- much to the dismay for my parent and their future grandchildren who are so anxious to get down here to Middle Earth.
Hey, it's not like I haven't been trying to give those little tikes a mortal body. Like I said, I have been playing my hand at internet dating. 

Dating via key pads and glowing screen was not my first choice, in fact it wasn't even a last resort, but when plan Z fails you gotta start using the Chinese alphabet. 

When did this all begin? How did my life come to this point? 

I moved to Carlsbad California. For those of you unfamiliar with the area it's a beachy tourist town home to hipster restaurants, hobos, billionaries, sand, ocean, and marines. Yes marines, but Mormon ones? Not so many. And the ones that are LDS are SOOOO amazing, but also enlisted (because I'm an officer they are taboo) and much MUCH younger than myself. This makes dating difficult. I love my singles ward, but it more like a family... a small family... and I'm one of the older children.

So now can you see why I should be writing profiles and gushing about my accomplishments on the web? If you can, then you are much keener than myself. I did not make this decision on my own.

Sometime in April I went in to see a member of my stake presidency to renew my temple recommend. Like the good man that he was he also took the time to ask about my life and specifically my dating life. At this time I was the 'new girl' (for the first time in my life and feeling pretty cool about it). So I had a couple leads, but nothing too promising.

During that that chat President Blunt (names have been changed for the amusement of the author) gave me some advice that I will treasure forever... or at least a long while.

He looked me in the eye and straight forwardly stated "Clara, you have a lot going for you. You seem fairly easy going, you have a testimony, and you're not too bad looking. I gave you about 2 years. You can be picky for 2 years then you just need to take whatever comes long."

No one had ever given me that opinion- thought I'm sure many thought it. I appreciated his words. He made himself memorable to me. But I didn't except the same from him. I was a member of a vast congregation and I wan't hurt that I wouldn't be set apart from crowd.

How wrong I was! The next time I saw him was the adult session of stake conference. He came down and after the meeting and asked me if he could set me up with some of the single men in the ward that he might come across.

    Side Note: I love being set up on blind dates. I really don't understand how blind dates get a bad         rep. Someone who loves you, wants you to go out with someone else they think are amazing.               HELLO, it's a great way to meet people that are interesting, fun, and build you up.

So on that note I was more than ready to accept the offer.

Unfortunately it did not bare fruit. The next time I saw President Blunt he regretfully informed me that once you get to my age the men come with more baggage than he thought I needed to be carrying. Now we all know that there are amazing men out there  with suitcases or free handed that are a little bit older and single. But Pres. B wasn't running into them. He made the suggestion that I try online dating. I have tried that before and I groaned inside at the suggestion.

"President Blunt, I've tried that before and it didn't go anywhere. I hate being on the computer all the time and it doesn't go anywhere!"

"I know, I know. But just give it a try."

(Eyes rolling and with an exasperated sight) "Fine. But give me one more month. If nothing happens after a month then I'll give it another chance."

"Alright, one month".

You might be able to guess what happened in a month. I got really into body surfing and nearly got paralyzed in the water. HA! Did you guess that? No? I didn't think so!!!

And no, I didn't find true love. I watched a lot of chick flicks alone in my apartment and sat in corners at single adults activities, but despite these efforts I was still...alone.

And so the the cyber adventure began!