Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Story of the Three Little Roommates and the Big Bad Feline

    Once upon a time in a iceberg land marked  Rexburg there lived 6 little roommates. One Sabbath night when only three of the roomies were home they heard a voice at the door purr "little girls, little girls let me come in". The roomies promptly replied in unison "not by the hair of pale skinny legs". So the mysterious voice jumped on the window sill. It turned out to be a calico mini monster. It shivered and meowed pathetically "oh please let me come in, I'm afraid that my chattering will cause your house to tumble in! I've already shuck up a straw house and stick house. I'd hate to make your establishment to come in too!"
So although the roomies knew the small underfed terror wouldn't be able to make the bricks on their apartment quiver, they decided to open their homes and hearts to the demolisher. She quickly scurried in. Suddenly the roomies realized this spastic act of generosity could cost them their endorsements at BYU-I . They thought to themselves: "Well, I've made better decisions in my life." After making that mistake they decide to make another by naming her.
As Willemenia perused the apartment, the 3 culprits pondered how to get themselves out of their predicament. They tried kicking her back out into the snow when they went to a church meeting. Unfortunately the girls had very tender hearts and it hurt them to see her in the cold.  So the opened their neighbor's and let her in.
When they returned home they found their charge waiting for them outside their door.
The let they fur ball stay the night. Then as 2 of the roomies went to sleep the other decided to make their third mistake and feed it. When they were all three snugly under their covers Willemenia made her rounds to their beds were she made sure to keep them up for at least an hour or two. The last victim was to kind-hearted to evict the unwanted bed companion so decided to wake up every 10 minutes and fuss about the cuddlier whom she worried would roll over and suffocate.
When her alarm went off the mooch decide to get up to and follow her around the bathroom and kitchen, meowing and begging for food. The irritated guilt ridden girl shared her breakfast with Willemenia then hurried off to school to fret about the cat and her own possible eviction from Rexburg. She came home ready to vanquish that havoc to the pound. Much to her relief the 4th roommate informed her that she would be taking Willemenia home with her over Thanksgiving break and leaving her there. The roommates rejoiced over their fate and the cats destiny. And they all lived after.
The moral of this story: never let a cat in the house or they will eat up your food storage, thereby dooming you for the apocalypse, and will curse you with insomnia.Only allow foam mouth dogs in. They are safe.