I believe that. I really do.
But I'm hopeful that place is far from my celestial hut- should I merit even that- in reference to specific life forms. May deer frolic on my dirt floors and butterflies flutter about the straw roof. I would even find music in the occasion buzz of a mosquito or rattle of a diamond back.
However, if I see even one cockroach scurry along the wall, I'll know I never achieved eternal glory. The roach and I are never being friends- no matter how many times Mikey tries to reconcile us. Since the day I moved into my little beach house in Rota I have had run ins with the aforementioned pests and every encounter has begun with Mikey taking a liking to them and calling them his 'friends' and ending in my finding a sturdy shoe and them meeting their Maker. I know Mikey is teasing me, but if he had lived through the horrors I have seen... I think he might be a little to shell shocked to joke.
As a kid roaches were no big deal. We grew up in the middle of a cotton field with only two neighbors. I remember going out to feed the dogs and finding a few in their dog bowls. Per my parents instructions, I would flip the dishes over to get rid of them before putting food in. It didn't phase me. Sometimes you found cockroaches in garage and a mouse in the washing machine. That was life I credit my cool to my mom's example. She could stomp, squish, or break any germ filled creature that threatened her tidy house with never a scream or look of disgust.
I blame of straying from the fearless view to straying from home. I was introduced to urbanization where the worst things are flies and dirty dishes. The older I got, the fewer I saw, and the more horror stories I heard about others encounters with the monsters from less tolerate folks. At one time I would have used a different adjective for the anecdote I'm about to tell, but the further from my roots I grew the less tolerant I was of the little monsters.
Now I live in that beach house I mentioned. It is ground level and easy access to you-know-who. I wasn't too worried about it. I wasn't going to let it live if I saw one, but I wasn't waging war either. That changed. Earlier this week- Saturday- I had come back home late from a potluck. I went to kitchen to put a few things away. I heard scurrying on the cabinets above my kitchen counter. I thought it might be a lizard- I've had a few of them sneak in. I looked up- followed the noise- saw the culprit- not a lizard.
First: gross. Because it are on top of where I keep my food, not down by the feet were you normally see them. Second: no reason to loose your cool. You can handle this. I got my Raid and began to destroy the beast.
I said beasts- that's right ladies, gentlemen, and hermaphrodites: plural. I knew I got one, but the other kept running around up there. I sprayed and sprayed and heard a small thump. It had escaped from the top and landed on my counter! I sprayed my bananas; I sprayed my pineapple; I sprayed my cast iron skillet; and finally, I sprayed that vermin until it flipped over on it's back- twitched a bit- and died. As I was cleaning up I heard little feet..lots of them. It was in my pan cupboard! I sprayed my cheese grader, I sprayed my Tupperware; I sprayed my deep dish skillet; and finally, I nail that little demon and put it on it's brown scaly back.
Between fiends #2 and #3 I was cleaning up (not know about #3 yet) when I heard a very loud bang. My heard was already beating fast enough to keep time with a heavy metal band- now it was leaping like it wanted escape my chest and this nightmare. My nerves had a hard time believing it, but it wasn't a gunshot. I had doused my liter bottles of carbonated water in Raid and one exploded, hit the ceiling and spilled on the floor. I open and drained the others before a similar scenario could take place. Good thing, they were ready to wreak havoc and they did just that to face, arms and hair.
That night I destroyed 6 cockroaches. My heart was pounding. I created a parameter of Raid around my bed and pleaded for divine help before falling into an uneasy sleep. The next night I annihilated another 4. I found one booking it down the middle of my hallway- not even bothering with the sides- so I chased it with Raid. I made a streak of it and laid so much on him when I finally caught up, that I nearly slipped and fell on my crack twice later that night while walking down the hall.
I used to look on cockroaches with mild distaste. Not anymore- enemies until the bitter end. (Bitter on their part...and maybe mine too. I think I'm beginning to taste it in the air and it's not sweet.)
I'm veteran now of a personal war the world will never know and I will never forget.
Never.
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